Lucius Malfoy's first day in azkaban
by CrimsonGear
Summary: Well, the title says it all really, my take on Lucius' first day in the Wizarding pit of doom. Warnings for my warped humour and bizarre hallucinations on Lucius' part. Round three Entry for Fanfiction Idol on the HPFC forum.


Fanfiction Idol Round three: First Times.

With the need to be both morbid and yet slightly light-hearted I have gone with 'first day in Azkaban', with Lucius as today's victim.

Enjoy~

* * *

Lucius let out a shaky breath as the guards finally walked (_floated,_ he thought, cringing) away from his cell.

A trial had been rather unnecessary, he'd been caught red-handed with a group of Death Eaters, seen wearing their garb - seen by the Minister himself for that matter. No amount of bribery would fix that.

The man sighed and dragged a hand over his face. Nothing could make this worse - he'd likely lost all his funds, all his Ministry protection, his son was going to get dragged into this (or so those _things_ said - if that guttural noise could be called true speech) and with it, he'd lose what respect Cissy still had for him after that idiot escapade at the Quidditch Cup last year and the near beating he'd almost received from the Dark Lord last year...

He was a laughing stock and he knew it. Still, at least Bellatrix was on the outside. A small mercy that she couldn't taunt him, though he could see the unfixed gaping hole in her cell wall from his own confinement area. How did Lucius know it was hers? The crazy bitch had painted the stone red with blood.

Merlin help him if that's what Dementors did to you, though considering the other cells didn't look too bad, perhaps Miss Lestrange's cell ended up that way because, as he had suspected for a long while, the woman was half mad to begin with.

Lucius on the other hand... Well, getting a bloody great tattoo on your arm of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth wasn't exactly sane by Magical or Muggle standards. Lucius was a coward and he knew it, it's why he bullied oafs like Crabbe and Goyle with his intellect - that way he could use their muscle.

_Fat luck that is now though_, he thought to himself as groans from a few cells down reminded him Dumb and Dumber were in Azkaban with him.

It was perpetually cold in Azkaban, didn't matter which cell you ended up in, it was always close enough to a Dementor to drown in it's cold. A coldness that seemed to grow the more Lucius pondered on it. Either they were patrolling or Lucius was beginning to lose it.

He wasn't sure which option he preferred.

"How the in the name of Merlin did Black survive this for twelve years?" Lucius pondered out loud.

"Because he didn't do anything wrong. You did and now you'll pay for it."

"You just couldn't say 'no' to him could you?" Great. Now he was talking to himself. Bloody _spiffing_.

Faintly, Lucius could hear someone above him laughing. Or screaming, he couldn't quite tell which. And that dead rat in the corner was looking at him funny.

"Argh!" Lucius cried out as he slapped himself hard around the face. The _dead_ rat was _looking_ at him funny? Merlin he needed a psychiatrist when he got out.

"If," the dead rat reminded him.

Lucius starred at the rat, before quickly choosing a corner of his cell and hurling.

"If I get out of here with even a iota of sanity it'll be a miracle," Lucius mumbled, still not quite over his last hallucination as he sat on the floor of his cell, one hand covering his face.

The rat snickered.

"Oh shut up - we both know you're dead, I can see your rotting guts for Merlin's sake!" Lucius snapped at the rat, who began howling - very much like the nutter upstairs... No, wait. The _cell above_.

Forget the psychiatrist, when Lucius got out he was checking in to St. Mungo's.

Absently he wondered if he could take the rat too. It did look _kinda_ cute if you caught it in the right light - then again, so did werewolves.

Elsewhere a few metres away two Dementors crossed each other.

"_**I never thought he would snap so easily**_," one 'said' to the other.

"_**Yes,**_" it 'laughed', "_**Poor bugger only lasted half an hour.**_" The two sinister beings chuckled as they completed their rounds, to the prisoners surrounding them though it was like hearing a Mermaid chocking above water - making them writhe and twitch as the hooded figures passed.

* * *

Apologies for the rat, after about 300 words my fingers sort of forgot to consult my brain... *sweatdrops*


End file.
